Beer Goggles: Rotterdam to Den Haag (The Hague)

“Den Haag” is Dutch and, roughly translated, it means “Rich fucker’s town” in English.

This morning I visited the Boijmans Van Beuningen Art Museum. They have some pretty famous stuff and some pretty weird, perhaps not so famous, works. I liked the tennis ball couches (they LOOKED like couches) and the giant screw outside. Hyronemous Bosch(sp?) had some evil (but cool) shite there and I spotted a lot of famous names. Some of them had good stuff, some of them not so good. I really liked the special feature they had on Robert Crumb. I think he was the guy behind “Fritz the Cat”. Anyway, I want get some of his books for some proper reading..

After a couple of hours I returned to the hostel and prepared to leave (dress, pack, fill bottles, etc). I found my sunnies could not be FOUND! I think someone has taken them because I purposely left them off the other day to get rid of the strange tan lines across my face when I forgot to apply sunscreen.. and they were not seen since. Well, I have the spare lenses for those frames you wanker/s so keep the scratched up things!.

All was saved though when the hostel manager gave me a free pair of Heineken sunnies! Awesome dude! You rock! FREE BEER GOGGLES! Navigation should be perfect now with a beer coaster instead of a map and beer goggles..

Ride today was nice and cruisy. It was quite strang to leave Rotterdam (big city) and in only a few kays be surrounded by green fields stocked with cows, sheep and birds. The fields also had canals and small lakes, dotted with bridges to allow bikes and peds to cross. I think the area was called Middle Delft?

I stopped in Delft to speak to Tam. I was cruising around town looking for a phone place but she beat me to the punch and added another million aussie dollars to her mobile bill.. Anyway, I continued cruising. Nice town with plenty of canals and restaurant boats and the usual shops along their ‘banks’. I didn’t find anything that warranted a full-on stop though so I continued on to Den Haag.

With my BeerNav(tm) setup, I actually found the Den Haag StayOkay hostel quite easily. Perhaps it has more to do with only being a 40k ride and not being too low in blood sugar when I try to read dodgy maps? Many people staring as I sign-in.. it’s only lycra people! Sheesh.. I know I’m totally gorgeous and all but keep your knickers on.. (cough)(splutter)bullshit(cough)(etc)

One guy watched me climb the stairs.. (WHY do they always put sore-legged cyclists on the top floor? To show off our lovely legs of course!) Imagine my surprise when he’s knocking on my door 2min later!

“Someone said there were bird eggs in this room”

“Uh I don’t know what you’re talking about man..”

Yeah, so he leaves and I’m left wondering: “Was that some kind of gay code? Was it druggie code?” I dunno.. but it all becomes clear when, a minute later, I spot the pidgeon egg on the top bunk above my bed! hahaha so he was (potentially) a normal guy, just wondering about the egg.. When I was in the shower another guy occupied the top bunk and the egg vanished..

Ate an overpriced, undersized Tuna Salad Broodje(?) and chips and then washed it down with some sickly sweet “Fernandes Green Punch” and “Timbolas” then kind of cake “thing” most people stop eating when they turn 8 years..

Walk around the corner and BAM! Scantily clad women in shop windows! Now I’m not talking about those kinda pale, stiff ones that people use to show off clothes.. these ones were living breathing women, dressed in only bikinis/underwear, waiting to “do business”. I was shocked, so I only picked the best two and kept it to an hour, flat.

No, I’m lying, I didn’t pay for sex. Sorry to disappoint you all.

Den Haag is pretty nice, if a touch expensive. There’s some nice buildings and canals and well, the usual. If you don’t know what the usual is.. you just have to tour Europe yourself! On the way back, I decide to do the tightarse dinner thing and but some Surnamese microwave dinner stuff. Well, of course THIS StayOkay is nothing like the Rotterdam one and they don’t have a microwave, or a kitchen.. or a FRIDGE! Geez! So I eat it raw. If you don’t hear from the hippy again.. blame it on the uncook satay thing from the supermarket or the “smoothy” thing.. man that was gross.. and the hostel bar is a ripoff and everyone was doing some other shit anyway. I’m totally not in the mood for going out. Instead I’ll be a sadass luser online.. 😛

Where’s that chillum when you need it.. 😉

Wow! Lightning and Thunder! This is the first time I’ve actually seen proper stormage here – it always seems to happen late at night. Hope it rains, coz it’s very humid and at least tonight my bike is under cover.. my chain has frickin’ rusted! I left it out a few times and last night the pannier’s small pockets filled with water and the chain is badly needing a lube.. so I finally used the teflon lube on it this morning before leaving. So much nicer now. Oooh speaking of nice.. cool breeze coming in through the pub door (yeah, net cafe in the pub near hostel, 3euro/90min).

The hostel here is 25euro/night which is expensive because it’s only a 4person dorm room with ensuite. Hey, I didn’t pick it! So, I don’t know how much there is to see and if I should move to another town tomorrow or stay another day? I was thinking about going back to Rotterdam on Saturday for a Techno vs. DrumNBass night.. hey Dan, Redhead is playing (only name I recognised :)) so that’s a good reason to stay close but, hmm, I dunno..

It’s raining proper now.. with some bigass lightning.. cool! Actually it’s still warm but you know what I mean..

Equipment Notes (for the really, really bored)

Stuff Used

– 2pr jocks (yes, I wear one pair a few times, cringe away clean-freaks! :P)

– 1pr shorts (short, quick-drying, synthetic ones I bought in TKMaxx, London)

– 1pr cargo pants (from Oz, used when it gets cold, with thongs for that Classy Aussie(tm) look)

– 1 fleecy jumper (as above)

– 2 shirts (Olive Stussy one rapidly wearing out and Nike “Get Addicted” one which went down a treat with the dope-fiends in Utrecht!)

– 1pr Croydon Cycleworks knicks

– 1 Croydon Cycleworks jersey (my red one, coz it goes faster)

– 1pr Polypropylene socks (yes, just one pair, sometimes I have to ‘dress wet’)

– Gloves (old, falling apart)

– Helmet (usually)

– SPD shoes (fit better than other shoes but still crush toes a bit)

– Ill-fitting thongs (flip-flops NOT a g-string you pommy fsckers!)

– Ill-fitting runners (crush feet)

– “Dave’s freebie” sunnies

– Soap (yes, REALLY!)

– Speedo chamois towel (15 fuggin quid worth!)

– Toothbrush/Toothpaste

– Nail clippers

– Combo knife/spoon/fork tool (For stabbing people and eating yoghurt)

– 40gb ipod (For motivation and pure wank factor.. drool away bitches!)

– Nokia 6210 mobile phone (yes, the blighter is still kickin’!)

– Map of France

– Lonely Planet Belgium

– Lonely Planet Netherlands

Stuff Added

– Ill-fitting thongs (flip-flops NOT a g-string you pommy fsckers!)

– Ill-fitting runners

– CF card reader (I did have one already but it was in the form of a portable cd burner and too big/heavy)

– Sunscreen (would you believe I took 2 tubes to London and left both there only to get fried in Europe?)

– Lip balm (see Sunscreen)

– Vitamin E cream (makes me legs look sexier)

– Antiseptic cream (stops my feet falling off due to thong-induced wounds)

– SIM cards for mobile (buying prepay for each country is cheaper then using UK one)

– Map of Netherlands (their signage is good, not perfect)

– Teflon Lube (for the _chain_ you perverts!)

– Compact umbrella

Stuff Not Used

– Too much of it remains unused because I’ve always found a bed and it’s not cold and I’ve had no mechanicals thus far.

Stuff Removed

– London A-Z

– Maps for each town and promo flyers, etc.

– I’ll probably post back a bunch of receipts, LP guide or two, some maps, etc..

Dutch SIM and a map, finally

I have a new SIM for The Netherlands.

New mobile number is: +31627556177

SMS only works with Vodaphone and Optus in Oz, so don’t bother if you aren’t with one of them. Telstra – get your shit together!

I’m going to buy a new SIM in each country, most likely, it’s heaps cheaper than using one from another country. Cheaper still would be to throw the frickin’ mobile in a dyke..

I also bought a nice Michelin map of Zuid-Nederland, central Netherlands. This should make leaving cities a little less frustrating in the future.

You may take our beds, but you'll never take our freedom!

Bar wasn’t serving by the time I returned so I grabbed some Grolsch from a “Night Shop”. Grolsch is shite. Do not drink the stuff.

Ahh.. shit day.. but at least now I can jump into bed, right?

WRONG!

Some fscking prick is sleeping in my fscking bed! Lucky I’m a nice guy because I really wanted to strangle the fscker in his sleep.. it was that kind of day.

Now, it’s not like the bed was un-made, I mean, hostel beds are typically free of sheets which you have to collect from reception and then you make the bed. This bed of MINE had top and bottom sheets tucked in and a pillow case on. It also had three of my bags underneath it, the doona removed and jammed under the bed and my fscking towel hanging over the bed head to dry!!! FFS!!!

I stormed downstairs and luckily the cleaner was still around because otherwise I would’ve gone sheetless again. So I lose my bottom bunk (I fscking hate top bunks) and have to make my bed in the middle of the night.. thanks fsck head!

I confronted the wankbucket in the morning and he reckons someone stole his bed so he just thought he’d grab mine.. I’ll remember that the next time something of mine goes missing.. “Oh, I’ll just take this guy’s ipod to replace mine..”

On a postive note, the breakfast at this 20euro/night hostel is pretty bloody good with all the usual stuff plus multiple cereals, a cool variety of breads and even cake! My brief wander has so far revealed some pretty interesting buildings (which Rotterdam is famous for, I think) and I might even drag myself into a museum, of which Rdam has heaps.. but it is a nice day out.. can’t I just ride around a bit? Please? Can I? Can I? Just a little ride.. not all day, well maybe all day.. please?

Stepping in a steaming, fresh dog turd with bare feet, repeatedly

Today was shite.. really shite.. in cycle touring terms, today was like stepping in a steaming, fresh dog turd with bare feet, repeatedly.

2hrs riding around lost before I finally started making progress.. then the riding was just crud.. just didn’t feel like it.. I finally found a sign to Rotterdam after crossing a couple of rivers by “punt”. I had lunch (more burgers and chips.. bleh!) and started again, this time with the ipod going My legs felt good, I felt good, it was just an awesome feeling and I rode pretty hard..

Of course then it all fell apart again as I spent another 2 hours in Rotterdam trying to find the friggin hostel.. only to find, after

asking 20 people for directions, it was closed on Mondays!!!!

So, I went to another, more expensive hostel, elsewhere which only took 30min to get lost looking for and then find.. so it was like 60k distance and I managed to do it in 99.93 kay.. notice the number of the beast in there again? 🙂

Yeah, 100k, 6 friggin’ hours and an average of something pathetic like 17kph because 4 hours of the riding was spent dawdling around trying to get unlost..

2 shoarmas for dinner and now I’m going to see if the hostel bar is still serving! Need it!

Change of 'tude – Touring or Training?

Two 100+ kilometre rides in 3 days.. yes folks, hippy has gone mad(der). I don’t know why but just recently I’ve become a little bored with stopping in towns, unpacking and walking aroung on foot exploring or hitting up a pub or “coffee” shop or whatever.

I’ve been really getting into pushing the GT across the country. With the (generally) fantastic bike path signage in The Netherlands I’ve not been using a map while riding – I just look at a map the night before to find a town I think I can make in a day and then head in that general direction. This has worked quite well so far. I still get lost, but the sheer number of bike path signs means quick directional recovery.

Bergen op Zoom to Breda

I had planned to leave Bergen Op Zoom and head straight to Rotterdam, but I didn’t leave the hotel until lunchtime and then spent an hour or so on the phone (totally eliminating Tam’s food budget for the week – know you know why she’s so skinny ;P) before finally ‘getting down to business’.

So this ride was only a short 54 kays because I wanted to get accomodation sorted earlier rather than later and Breda looked pretty nice to explore on foot.

My legs took about two hours to warm up as well – yesterday obviously worked them over.

I explored town. It was nice. I threw some coins to the cool bongo drumming guys in one of the main shopping streets – I like drumming.

I chilled out in the Grote Markt square enjoying the music that was pumping out of a second-story window as well as the icecream I could finally buy after finding some cash machines.

I stayed in “Singel Pension” just outside Breda’s centre. Initially I had the larger, cooler, more expensive (37euro) room but just as I’d paid a booking was cancelled so I changed to the smaller, warmer, cheaper (26euro) upstairs room. This proved to be a mistake!!

The room was tiny with a foldup bed to make more room. It had a TV and DVD player (they have a DVD collection you can raid for free) and a desk but with the bed down there wasn’t much room. This was a non-issue for me – I was only sleeping there. What the problem proved to be was the heat. It was STIFFLING in this room!!! I had the window opened to the fullest extend (5cm) and the door open but there was no breeze coming in!

I was sweating like a maniac and resorting to standing on the footpath to feel the breeze or pouring water over my head in a futile attempt to cool down. It was insanely hot! I think I lost about 5kg that night. If you ever stay here in the summer – pay the extra and stay downstairs!!!!!

I finally slept and the next morning enjoyed a nice breakfast and chat with the owner, a friendly woman who gave me a good route.. to explore castle-rich area around “Heusden (vesting)” – “land van Altena” I think the area was named.

BERGEN OP ZOOM to BREDA STATS:

54k, 3h 02m, 17.8kph

Breda to Zaltbommel to Den Bosch to Utrecht

7 hours and 5 minutes riding to get to Utrecht.

Breda to Oosterhout was a pretty canal path. I got all screwed up in town here though and did quite a few double-backs before giving up on the Heusden (vesting) idea.

I’m really starting to enjoy the riding much more than the walking around towns thing anyway so I didn’t mind ‘just riding’.

Made it to “Den Bosch”, the shortened version of the area’s capital city “‘s Hertogenbosch”. This is where the Bosch Ball comes from. Pastry ball filled with whipped cream type stuff and covered in chocolate sauce 🙂 Mmm..

I took a wrong turn here, apparently, because when I stopped at a pub outside Empel for water (free again, thanks dudes!) and asked directions they laughed at me. There was a guy from Sydney in there! It’s totally amazing where you find Aussies! Sorted out a route that didn’t involve returning to Den Bosch. Instead, I continued along the road I was on and took a 50c barge ride across the river, found the road-a-bout Sydney-dude had mentioned and took the road to “Zaltbommel”.

Zaltbommel then had cyclepath signs to Utrecht (about 42k to go).

Sydney-guy mentioned that it was easy to get cash-in-hand work along the river. I swore when I left Mildura I’d never pick fruit again, but if it lets me stay over here longer.. 🙂

Oh yeah, outside Empel I saw a helicopter that looked like a frickin’ Apache gunship. I hid under a tree until it was gone, hoping he didn’t have his IR gear turned on 🙂

It was about 3 or 4pm and I’d been riding almost non-stop since 10am and I was yet to have a piss, even though I’d had 6 bidons of water! :S

I stopped a couple more times for an ice slushy drink and another drink and to ask for directions. I finally had a piss. Mmm.. SUPER YELLOW URINE! The bike path signs become hard to follow in towns so I had to ask locals for directions again. I caught another barge across another river or canal for 60c and continued to Utrecht.

Rode through town and took a while to locate one hostel. It was full so I headed out of town towards the other one “B&B Utrecht” (thanks Lonely Planet). I arrived here at 8pm – a rather long day, you could say.

B&B Utrecht is the strangest hostel I’ve seen thus far. You can stay here for free if you work 4hrs/day! There was an older Aussie guy, Peter, who was studying or lecturing at the university. I was obviously looking a little wrecked because everyone rushed around to offer me food and drinks. I then found out the food and stuff was free, all day! I told you it was strange!

Locked my bike up out the back and picked the matress on the floor as my own. The place is pretty much “-1 Stars” as Peter said, but it’s only 14euro/night with free food and free internet. It’s run by an ‘interesting’ woman who is attuned to student/budget traveller needs. She makes daily deliveries of food to her various Utrecht hostels and even buys beer and fans for the residents when it’s hot! Did I mention this place is a little crazy?

Um.. anyway, I’ve been here two nights and I’ve not even made it into town yet! Well, Chris (a pommie GAP-year dude who’s “working” here for his bed) and I went out last night but I don’t remember much of that anyway and that’s about it. It’s VERY relaxed around here. This may be simply the nature of the residents it attracts or it could be the copious amounts of beer and weed around here?

There is a chick here doing an internship in hospitality. She will certainly have some interesting experience here!

Oh, there was some soccer match win the night I arrived and I think all the Moroccans? were going nuts, stopping their cars in the middle of the road and leaning on the horn, belting out tunes and hanging out of their windows with red flags.. it was insane.. did I mention this place was insane? Oh, and then there’s the bull-riding machine setup on Amsterdamerstraat (the main road to town from here) and the marching band that was walking down the road belting out some seriously loud beats.. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned the craziness about this place or not yet? I don’t even know if I’m going to look at the town, I reckon I could stay here for quite a while.. but I should move along.. but I could just (cough) work for my rent.. and food.. and stay.. hehehe this place is like the Bermuda triangle of The Netherlands, trapping tightass tourists from around the world..

Breda to Zaltbommel to Den Bosch to Utrecht STATS:

136.66k (it was a devil of a ride), 7h:05m, 20kph, 10am-8pm

Human Fly-Paper

Left Dudzele at 10am after a big brekkie (not much change there then!) and headed to Sluis. Sluis was a nice, small town that had.. a tourist office! So I found out that the ferries from Breskens to Vlissingen (Netherlands) leave every half hour and she also told me to leave Sluis on the main road and look out for the sign-posted turn-off after the channel just outside town. This was a nice “coastal” path to Breskens. It was 26k compared to the 15k direct route.. but it’s not all about having a quick route, is it?

It was 30degC (as I keep telling everyone on aus.bicycle who are really enjoying winter..).

Followed some roadies along the winding, country path (before the beach) and noticed they were all in the big ring while I was pootling along behind (not drafting, just keeping same distance gap). I worked out one dude’s cadence at 65rpm! Dude, use the little ring and spin! Your knees will thank you!

Got to Breskens and after a slight detour, found the ferry terminal. About 3? for the one way trip with bike. The trips takes less than 20min. I was on the 12:20 ferry and was the last person on board. Tied bike up downstairs with about 20 others and went upstairs for a better view. This machine makes a big bow(?) wave and hikes – I wondered what sort of engine/s this thing used?

The Netherlands (Holland is easier to type, I might just use that although it’s not correct or something?) was well sign posted and I soon found myself in Middelburg. I was in a riding mood so I didn’t bother checking this place out. I thought I might try and make Breda, which is almost in the middle, down south. The scenery was a little boring so I went a little nuts and leaned on my bars like I was time-trialling. Speeds up near 30kph (pretty good for the loaded/un-aero GT!). I was really feeling good but thought I’d better stop for food in case I don’t find any later on.

Stopped at “Goes” (haha) for some frites and mayo (2.55?) and an Aquarius (2? sports drink). The girls also filled my bidons for me. I was pumped so I ate fast and left quickly. Frites here were better than Belgium’s, more like proper chips and less like Maccas fries.

Okay, it didn’t look good for making Breda (I was fscked!) so I bailed in “Bergen op Zoom” and asked a chick if there was any accomodation in town. She directed me to a hotel. It was expensive at 60? but, like I said, I was pretty wrecked and really didn’t want to look around for other options. Bit off more than I could chew again..

I tell you what though, the 60? is almost worth it for the real towels!!! hehehehe (and cold shower, and AIRCON and free ‘net)

I found a place that had a pasta special on – 5? for a fair bit of Macaroni Bolonaise and some salad. Drank up too. Ate this in my room coz it was just too warm outside and I wanted to chill with the aircon and tv. Tried to go to sleep but it didn’t happen, so I wandered around town and scored some ice-cream. 5 scoops for ?2.70. I’m not sure if it’s as good as the aussie stuff.. let you know after further testing is conducted..

Back to the hotel for beer and to try and make the most of their internet connection (had to eat up that ?60 somehow!). Bastards closed up at 1am though so off to bed for me.. and then up at 6am to abuse their computers again bwahahaha

Oh, “human fly-paper” refers to me using sunscreen and the piles of bugs that end up stuck to my arms and legs! There’s heaps of bugs and floating plant matter here..

DUDZELE -> BERGEN OP ZOOM STATS:

120k, 5h34m, 22kph (probably a bit faster if I didn’t dawdle the first bit and ate/drank properly!)

Testing the GT's front impact protection..

Two weeks it has taken until my first near miss. Red van, turning across the bike path, slowed to let a motor scooter through and then gunned it just as I’m at their door. I took evasive action and they spotted me and stopped. I can’t remember if there was contact or not coz I just yelled something and flipped ?m off and continued on.. 2 weeks before an incident is frickin unbelieveable though! Fsck you Melbourne drivers!

Spent four hours on the ‘net trying to upload photos but the connection was flaky as hell, so I failed to upload the pics but I did ask and receive a discount for the time I was there. Late last night the 5? phone card I bought as an experimental one lasted a whole 17 minutes. International communication is just fscked! Added another 30quid (yes, UK pounds!) to my mobile. This is dodgy, so I’m going to get a prepay SIM card for each country I visit in the hope of saving some dollars. Yes, yes I could just turn the phone off.. I could just turn the phone off..

After 30min spent riding out of and back into Brugge, I finally made my way to Oostende. It was very industrial from the outside so I just didn’t even bother to give it a closer look and rode on to De Haan for a 2min ‘waffle stop’. While I scoffed the pretty crap, reheated ‘suiker waffle’ (sugar waffle) a WHOLE BUNCH of kids rode past in those fluoro yellow riding vests! It was awesome! Why can’t the wankers in Oz work out the congestion around schools every day is all the friggin’ cars dropping the kids off.. get them riding to school FFS!!!

Arrived at Blankenberge and asked a random dude if he knew Ruiters straat. I couldn’t understand what he said, but guessed his hand gestures and ‘kirk’ meant ‘church’ and blow me down, I found the hostel! If I had a map and it was signposted I would’ve missed it for sure!

They had a load of school kids staying that night though so were booked out. First time I’ve not got a room. The guy called the nearby “Dudzele” hostel and booked me a room.

It was ?16.30/night and turned out to be quite modern and next to a canal lined with windmills. The guy bought me a beer! Good sign! The bar turned out to be a row of five self-service machines along with a cupboard full of glasses and a bottle opener. You could get all kinds of beers, spirits, soft drinks, chocolates, coffees and teas, nuts, waffles, ice creams, etc..

Didn’t seem to be many people, but this was okay because I got the whole dorm room with ensuite to myself. Very funky and new compared to most other hostels. Shower and wander. This town is tiny and as such EVERYTHING is CLOSED! No food and I’m about to fall over from lack of energy.. not good. Head back to the hostel for vending machine dinner of Coke, waffles, peanuts (bought by the rowing club president who’s club shares the building), Snickers, paprika chips, Grimbergen Dubbel 6.5%, Straffe Henrik (made in Brugge) ~6% and a Palm ?%.

Sat in the dining room watching “Viva La Bam” (Clint, never woulda known what it was without your influence! haha)

BRUGGE -> OOSTENDE -> BLANKENBERGE -> DUDZELE STATS:

58k, 2h50m, 20kph