Simo, and almost everyone else, has probably heard of my facial hair styling and how it's based on the Aussie track cycling legend Sean Eadie. If I hadn't trimmed I might have looked like this..



Cheers simo, ya bored nutter, that's feckin' ace! Clearly the century ride has fried your brain :)



Aero?! Aero?! Just HTFU!!

andtheglovesareoff.blogspot.com has been documenting the plight of lost gloves for over 12 months now. I guess it was only a matter of time before someone else started an organisation/website to reunite these lost gloves with their partners.. and so Simo reports.. onecoldhand.com where gloves can become pairs again!

This was too damn funny not to post! Thanks sleepy.

Matthew Parris you are a c u n t.

davegorman.com

Only recently found out who he was after seeing his Googlewhack live show in a very not live fashion on TV. Brilliant!

What is a googlewhack?

Another of slaam's creations based on this fat lampre guy.
Makes me wanna eat deep-fried chocolate with whipped cream.

That is the top search phrase for my little blog since I added Google Analytics functionality to it the other day. I'm guessing thehippy.net wasn't much use so I will be addressing this issue shortly. :)

Not since the bad old days when I was underage, only equipped with a Learner license or off my tits as I staggered up to the door, have I been rejected from a club.
Even in London, for two years now, I've walked into every type of venue and not once have I been stopped, no matter how feral I looked. That is, until now.

This chavtastic shit hole reckons that skate shoes are not acceptable. Not even my manky ones that have got into every other place in London, these were my almost-new all-black Airwalks. The manager (aka door bitch) even had a go at my fscking drunknmunky t-shirt!

I just grinned, left Mal with her friends (it was her friend's birthday) and went home, happy in the knowledge that I didn't spend a cent in Uxbridge's chavtastic shit hole.

The culprits:

Pink shirts are shit!
Pink shirts are really shit!
Pink shirts are really really shit!
Pink shirts are really really really shit!
Pink shirts are really really really really shit!


(thanks to slaam's impeccable photoshop skillz)

And you thought I made all the music?....;)


www.djmisjah.com

When will you play in London?!?!

What better way to prove you make good blenders than to take all manner of apparently non-blendable stuff and cain it! Bye-bye iPod!!!
Watch vids here: www.willitblend.com

In the beginning.. Kersal Massive, chav rap

Some of the offspring..
Kersal Massive 1, Kersal Massive 2, Kersal Massive 3, Kersal Massive 4, Kersal Massive 5, Kersal Massive 6, Kersal Massive 7

The Official Monster Raving Loony Party

www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com

www.heavensabovefireworks.com

Who needs the Oxford Dictionary when the insultmonger is available?! :D
www.insultmonger.com

Oh man!

Mal and I were sunning ourselves in Haven Green on the weekend and a guy approached us asking to do market research. Unlike most people, I actually like getting my opinion across in these sort of things and when he said we'd get free movie tickets and it'd only take a minute or two.. well.. schweet!!

After providing him with my fake details (hehe sucker!) and answering things like "Yes, I am a fan of the Ali G show" he gave us tickets to a preview screening of "Borat - The Movie"!!

When we arrived Tuesday night, the Ealing cinema was all locked down and video camera'd up.

They were taking cameras and camera-phones off everyone and putting them in plastic bags! I'd left all my phones at home (yeah, all three, I just bought a new one and I'm waiting for the number to transfer while I use up the last of my Virgin pay-as-you-go) and then we had to fill in more forms - with more fake details (hehe suckers!).

The movie. It was fscking funny!!! Very fscking funny. But if it actually gets released to the public... man, total fluke!!
I mean it offended everyone!! It was awesome It was sick.. we are talking sixty nine, guy on guy, fully naked in one scene, Americans shown to be rednecked as ever, ghey parade groping each other, heaps of anti j e w stuff, anti woman stuff.. it was fscking full on and DAMN FUNNY (for me, being a white, non-religious male).
I know why there's no Ali G any more.. it's because the guy is in fscking prison in the US!!!

One of the questions on the survery at the end of the movie was "Would 20th Century Fox distributing the movie would affect your opinion of the film?"
I didn't think 20th Century Fox would touch this with a barge pole but if they do - cool. So, is Mr Cohen in jail in the US or what? How much was "really real"?

They were filming viewer comments after the screening for ads I guess but we were too shy for that kind of thing :) See it if you can. I will be interested in how much they cut out..

G&S, Gerds (a mate of mine here from Oz staying here for the weekend) and I are off to Finnegan's Wake (biggest screen in Ealing!) to watch Oz beat Brazil in the World Cup!

How to peel a banana

No cycling here Chop. There's so much interest in the World Cup here (featuring a game called "soccer" for those back in Oz) and this is a funny take-off of the Nike Football ad. I was never this clever at uni:
www.montyfootball.com

"Down the alehouse, getting Schindler's.."
Schindler's List = Pissed

For this and more Cockney Rhyming Slang, visit: www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk