(view from Ditchling Beacon)

“Lets increase your weekend kays” she says.. “not a social ride a training ride” she says.. “gears” she says.. At least the last point reduced the pain somewhat 🙂

Since I wasn’t going fixed with the londonfgss.com crew, I had planned to leave quite early and pass the Hyde Park Corner start before the others got there. Late night = this didn’t happen. I actually caught the fixers somewhere in south London, where they were waiting (surprise surprise!) for someone. They moved off and I stuck with them since they were actually moving along quite well. None of this “p_nct_re every 5min” rubbish!

At the first climb after Croydon(?) we were waiting for someone (50×14?) and I decided to leave the group and set my own pace. I had brett’s route directions with me and blow me down if I didn’t navigate all the way to Brighton with them! I wish they worked as well going back to London, oh well 🙂

So, the weather was nice. The lanes were a little wet but nothing like last week’s L2P training ride. I was setting quite a reasonable pace and feeling good. I didn’t get lost, climbed over Turners Hill, saying ‘hi’ to some other riders, then carrying on to Ditchling.

The Beacon wasn’t as easy geared as I recalled, I think because of the pace I’d set getting there combined with the fact I was running low on fuel. Climbed over it steadily (I don’t do uphill + fast) in about 7 minutes. Rode the long descent into Brighton and arrived at the pier. Decided against chips or a hot jam donut and u-turned straight back up the hill towards London. Not the smartest move, I would later admit, as I really should have stopped for a breather and fueled up.

Slogged back up the hill and once clear of Brighton it was not only uphill but a face-smacking headwind to contend with. Damn!

Finally made it back to Ditchling and did a bit of cautious descending as I’d never ridden down it and the downhill road surface was very crappy. Before the Beacon turn off I saw some of the fixers – Dale leading the charge I think and mikec whos fast legs I’d later meet at Rollapaluza. A bit further along, the rest were stopped at that last corner, fueling up for the Beacon attack. Stopped and said “hi” although by now I was feeling pretty sh1t and just wanted to stop and eat something! Continued..

I eventually stopped at a Tesco somewhere – Ditchling, Turners Hill, I can’t remember and in 30 seconds scoffed a cinnamon scroll and two of those sweet things with nuts on top. Also bought a bottle of Lucozade and a Snickers. Should’ve bought more to drink.

The return trip had now turned completely. It was into a headwind, I’d used up almost all my food and drink, I was obviously tired, morale was low and then I noticed the sign. The sign that said “London – behind you”. Huh? Carried on a bit and saw another sign.. I was heading towards Lewes and AWAY from London.. Away from London WHAT?!?! NOOOOOOO!!!!!! FAAAAAARRRRK!!!!!!

I was spitting! Idiot!! I must have missed a turn. Arrgh! The rain that had now started falling was hitting my face and evaporating with a hiss from the pure hate I was now radiating.. this was not good. I noticed a sign “Ashurstwood” and “Forest Row”. I was now on the A22 instead of the A23 (don’t even think about finding brett’s course again!) trying to get back home. I’d managed to veer 15k off course and by the time I’d recovered I was off the route sheet and had added 30k to the trip! Not a huge amount but when you’re in a low mood already, you don’t need crap news like that.. GRRRR!

I now hammered towards London in the pissing rain in that feeble ‘no energy just anger’ way I do when I’m shattered. For another hour maybe I was riding in crap weather with nothing much left. I found a train station. Did it go to London? Did it fsck! Not a happy camper.

I kept going, cursing my decision to ride back.

What’s this? Light at the end of the tunnel? A sign for Caterham! I know this place. We dropped poor Desi off at the station when he broke his collarbone on the last L2B ride. I could find the station and recover some of the distance I’d wasted with my wrong turn, also avoiding the A-road return journey. Decision made. I found the station, paid my ?5 and jumped on the train. It even had a special holder for my bike with velcro straps for the seatpost. Awesome.

I arrived into London Victoria and the weather had got worse. It was FREEZING now. I was riding north past Hyde Park and getting pelted in the face with hail while a freezing wind bit at my legs. But, now I’d had a rest and I was close to home. The maniacal grin appeared and all I could think about was Paris Roubaix and how all those pros would laugh at conditions like this.. I was on mechanical autopilot.. living tissue over metal endoskeleton.. all I cared about was getting home and doing it quickly and if you got in my way, god help you!

Dragged my sorry carcass through the door and said ‘hi’ to a worried Malwina.. game over. 🙂

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