No, I don’t take money for ads. But I would take one of these..

That’s a grand for a COMPLETE bike by the way!

Britain?s towns and cities play host to cycling?s elite between 29 August and 3 September as the Tour of Britain returns for another year. Sixteen teams will battle it out over six days of gruelling riding through spectacular and demanding countryside. The winner will be crowned on the podium in The Mall, London on Sunday 3 September.

If you are in London this Sunday Sep 3rd I’d suggest heading to one of the Royal Parks or Buckingham Palace to check out the final stage of the Tour of Britain.

Of course if you are in any of the other locations do the same (just that most Aussies don’t know Britain exists outside London).

I wont be in town so Mal, my roving reporter – with her flashy new Canon (can I have it.. please!?), will be covering the event for me. Nice.

www.tourofbritain.com

www.engadget.com – the HumanCar puts your passengers to good use: pedaling

“The whole contraption can hit speeds in excess of 60 mph on the downhill, and is steered by “body angulation of the two front operators,” which sounds entirely unresponsive for speeds like that.“

1924 – The first drug revelations, when Pelissier and his brother Francis quit. ‘Do you want to see how we keep going?’ Henri asks the journalist Albert Londres, taking a flask out of his bag. ‘That’s cocaine to go in our eyes, chloroform for our gums, and do you want to see the pills? We keep going on dynamite. In the evenings we dance around our rooms instead of sleeping.’

Party time!

1953 – At the summit of the Tourmalet in the Pyrenees, the tiny climber Jean Robic is handed a feeding bottle filled with lead, weighing 10kg, so that he can gain ground on the descent.

And riders today complain about the UCI’s minimum weight restriction. Pah!

observer.guardian.co.uk – pills, spills and bellyaches – a cheat’s guide to the Tour

Photo ?: Dave Schneider/www.wheelandsprocket.net

That’s gotta hurt.

Zachary one month on from some cruddy brain surgery I gets me butt back on the bike. Zippitydoodaa!

Tuesday Morning:

I’m not sure which is wonkier – me or the badly-in-need-of-a-service bike?

Okay, it’s me.. but the bike still needs a new headset (one that doesn’t self-steer) and work done on the rear wheel (add some spokes, true it, that kind of thing). Fuggit, I wanna ride!

Rolling onto the road I instantly feel at home. No, that’s utter horseshit. I feel awkward, weak, wobbly and my favourite word for my current condition – “wonky”.

To everyone else I’m sure I look just the same plus a new scar and bad hair (okay so the bad hair has always been there) but _I_ know something is slightly off. I’d say my vision is dodgy but I can see everything. It’s more a case of my eyes not focusing as quickly as they should and perhaps not being so sharp, unless I do a double-take-squint-thing. It’s like I’ve suddenly been given my eyes at age 40. It’s like riding while slightly pissed – not that I’ve ever done anything like that officer. After all that bitching and moaning I’d fired up a bit by half way and was feeling a bit more comfortable on the road. The time in was 38:25 for the 12k. Less than 20kph average, true, but I was heading into London, I was being purposely slow and I do tend to stop at red lights more than the locals! Also my bars prevent me getting some of those tight gaps between *scrape* that Merc and *grind* the Porsche 😉 That concludes the chapter on excuses. Please now turn the page.

Tuesday Evening:

I was going to wait for peak-hour to pass before leaving the office but a “mailbox migration” (where do they fly to, I wonder?) meant no computer for me. Damned if I’m staying at work twiddling my thumbs with no ‘net! Pity I actually had work to do..

On the bike and angry again, just like old times, sweet!

There were an ungodly number of cyclists clad in bright yellow that I let split the air for me (including one who seemed to have left his “30” race numbers on. Um..whoops.. I don’t know anyone who’s done that before.. doo do dooo..).

Most were on road bikes which I thought was odd. Where were they all during winter? Mary, John and Fatmah were out there riding in their high-heels, jeans and leather jackets (yes, John is a bit odd) but these roadies must’ve been in secret training sessions, choosing to wear out tyres on trainers rather than risk the damp. I thought the poms would laugh in the face of rain and cold? 🙂

Anyway, back to the yellow. Is it a roadie fashion here to wear feckin’ bright yellow? For a city with such high regard for personal grooming and self-image I ask: WTF? Yellow be bright, sure, but it’s ug-a-ly!

I still prefer my Safety Black(tm) ensemble, although it has been modified somewhat with the addition of some grey (gray?) rain protection. Anyhoo.. I felt better on the way home save for a severe lack of leg power and the sudden feeling I’d become asthmatic. Where the hell did all my oxygen go?!?!

I passed a lot of people and lots of yellow-clad roadies passed me. Main thing is: I’m alive to type this and I’m riding again. Sweet! 36:somefink.

Wednesday:

My bum hurts. Should I stop hanging out in ghey bars? Who said that? Okay so the saddle is cheap San Marco crap and I have a super-duper rare-ish ti/carbon Selle Italia beauty to swap on but, you know, I’m like.. fscking lazy.

I cain in this morning but get the same time as yesterday morning because I left 30min later and had a lot more traffic to deal with. I had to hug the aircon when I finally made it to the office because I was a little too toasty. Everyone loves a sweaty office worker.

The ride home (tonight) was quite a lot slower because 1) I am fscking tired! and 2) the traffic was moving quite slow due to the rain this evening. I shall sleep well tonight and repeat the process tomorrow.. 🙂

Dunwich Dynamo ’06

There is also a Red Spokes London-Brighton ride on 14th May, prior to the BIG British Heart Foundation London-Brighton in June.

www.theage.com.au – shot cyclist ‘extremely lucky’ to be alive

I assume it was kids mucking around.. but.. how the hell do these fsckers get hold of a weapon and where did the brilliant idea to cap a passing cyclist come from?

I hope the poor woman recovers fast and fully and rides many-a-mile in the future.

Update:

Brain-dead w@nker turns himself in:

www.theaustralian.news.com.au – suspected shooter surrenders

If I can’t make it to le tour, le tour comes to me! Ha! 😀

Statement from the Mayor of London, Ken Livingston:

“I am proud to announce that following a successful bid, London has won the right to host the Grand Depart of the Tour de France in July 2007.

The first part of the legendary French cycle race will visit London as part of our efforts to excite people in London about cycling and to promote the capital both to visitors and as a venue for international sporting events.“

from: www.britishcycling.org.uk – tour de france confirms london start in 2007

In other news:

“Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having given up on the problem of an efficient way to get himself five miles to work and back each day.” – Bill Vaughn