“Imagine the fastest rides that you do ? racing or training. You are on the rivet, eyes glued to the wheel in front as tiny rivulets of sweat sting your eyes. Now imagine upping the pace by about another 4mph or 5mph and staying there for about 100 miles.“

Full Article: cyclingrevealed.com – Flahute and “The Lion of Flanders”

No, this isn’t another alcohol-overdose-body-part-failure “thing”. I’ve just returned from a Prime Coaching session on the Hayes/Hillingdon/Whatever cycle circuit.

It took about an hour to cruise from pOxford St to the circuit. I was a bit late and missed all the instructions so I just latched onto the nearest group and rode around in a double-paceline for a few laps until the speed went up and our group shattered. Then it was just four of us doing some reasonable laps for most of the session. Then we tired and joined another bunch which I then surged away from in typical ‘twat can’t hold pace’ kinda style. I kept going, my ‘breakaway’ failing a lap later. I rejoined and in the end there was just two of us belting around passing everything in sight.

Turns out the other guy, ‘Stewart’, has a blue Ribble almost the same as mine even down to the blue bar tape and red tyres. He was a sprinter (running) and is now cycling with his partner Tracy. Lindell was there again although I didn’t see what she got up to. She did say she was going to be more ‘bold’ next week – lookout! Suzz (short for ‘Surendra’ I now know) was there, as was Brian and Ray (the punisher from the turbo session). The clubrooms were packed with other people I don’t know yet. I’d skipped the arm-warmers again and had to haul arse on the way home to stop from freezing! Fsck it was cold.. my toes took a good 15min to get feeling back! Reputation as under-dressing fool… re-established! 🙂

Some fat scrag was sitting on my fixie when I came out of the Co-op on Pitshanger! WTF?! Oi parents! How about you keep your filthy, stinking premature ejaculations the fsck off my streets and my bike! The little slags screamed off onto a bus before I could use their faces to clean my chain but.. next time..

While I’m amped up.. moto man this morning gets arsey when I pull up to his right at the lights..

“You think your faster than me do you?”

“Yes” I replied without even thinking about it.

*moto man shakes his head*

I’m not even clipped in and he still can’t get around the cars in front before I do. It takes him a kay before passing me and I still catch up with him again. He turns off.

Now, what’s the point of strapping an engine to a frame if some cocky Aussie fscker can waste you sans-engine? Sure, if it was the Polish nut job I raced up Castlebar Rd. he would’ve kicked my arse but that’s not the point.. the point is.. ah whatever.. brain too blurry to care.

It’s official(ish).. I have joined a new cycling club. Willesden Cycling Club willingly accepted my ?20.. even if it wasn’t one of the new notes.

The details are sketchy: On-site with a client at Reading, no lunch, but scoffed a portion of the ?13 of “sweeties” that Sarah bought, whilst sitting for an hour on the train. Thought session started at 18:30 and arrived home at 18:15 so was just going to rock up and pay the membership. Discovered later the session starts at 20:00. Had time to drink a glass of water and chew the end off a block of cheese (Sheila would be proud) in a half-witted attempt to stave off the sugar-crash I was likely to be suffering soon. Changed, remembering to fit the vital Knee-Warmers of Everlasting Vital Signs, and road off into the sunset.. to Wembley and the clubrooms where the punishment is dished out.

A picture speaks 1000 words so here’s my heart rate graph for the session – translation? 1000 x “pain”:

For comparison, here’s a HR graph of a Glenvale Criterium from 2005

The first time my HR has gone over 200bpm for a long time methinks and over 26 minutes (almost hald the session) in the red! Now I know I was pushing hard, to impress on that first magtrainer date and all, but damn! I must be unfit. Of course I’ll put it down to having a body built like a Honda S2000 – “revs out to 9 grand mate!”. By the time I’d joined and chatted about titanium Colnagos and custom TT frames it was 22:30. No dinner, no breakfast and a late lunch.. I’d say I’m feeling it but surprisingly I’m amped, if staggeringly dehydrated, still.

It’s good to be back!

I now have showers at the Oxford Street office. I rode to work. I is happy.

Today’s ride began with a hurried departure after spending an hour watching the oven clock.. the only clock NOT adjusted for daylight saving last night.

Uxbridge Rd. was dead and I arrived with 5-10mins spare. Most people rocked up to the Denham start after me anyway. A ‘group’ of three rolled off for the short ride to Staines, the Quest lads rolled off for god-knows what and then we left, a dozen strong. Lindell(sp?) was back after her name change from Linda. 😉 Mike was there, Sas/Sus (I’ll get it right when I see it written down) was there. The ride leader (might be called Martin?) in his white top and beanie, Brian the chairman met us later. There were a couple of new faces – backpack guy and the Scottish bloke and maybe the younger-looking dude in the black.

The ride itself headed to Marlow and was another groovy ride through the back lanes west of London. As another rider pointed out, somone must have too much free time to be able to find all these little roads, lanes and even unpaved err goat tracks!

I know we passed some shooting range or pheasant hunt around Knowl Hill, I think we rode through Maidenhead, there was talk of a “Winter Hill” but I’ve no idea if we got near it. We certainly did end up at Marlow and the town and surrounds look beaut – very “English”. The clouds had disappeared by then and riders got in on the striptease at the cafe stop. I was actually warm on this ride (the shame!) with undershirt, vest, arm warmers and full legs. Even carried a head warmer, just in case it decided to snow again!

Skipped the fried stuff again in favour of a choc muffin and coffee. Discussed bikes and pedal systems until Lindell’s eyes glazed over. Brian told me to make it to the Thursday session at the track.. I said “I’ll try, work is busy” and then appeased him by telling him I would join Willesden CC. 😉

The ride back involved more back lanes, lots of horses and a headwind. I felt better this week than last although my left shoulder is aching for some reason. I need to work on positioning again methinks as something is obviously different to my old setup – I’ve never had arm issues before. I’m not used to riding on the hoods for so long – I’ll give it more time and see what develops. Ride total was a bit longer than last week 119k but this is offset by a total lack of commuting. Showers are working now apparently so I’ll be knocking down jay-walking peds quicker than you can say “Oxford Street shopping is for suckers”.

Out:

Duration: 2h 51s

Distance: 68.1k

HR: 138/171 (avg/max)

Speed 25.3/52.4 (avg/max)

Ascent: 380m

Back:

Duration: 2h 17s

Distance: 51.7k

HR: 147/180 (avg/max)

Speed 24.9/45.4 (avg/max)

Ascent: 265m

“Cosa” in Italian means “girl” and their are lots of songs about girls in Italian. Unfortunately, this sounds the same as the Polish “kosa” which means “goat”.

I finally got my shit together and joined a Willesden Cycling Club bunch ride, establishing myself (as I did at Blackburn) as someone with a foul mouth and habit of under-dressing for the weather. It’s okay, they didn’t get a load of potty mouth, I just thought I’d warn them in advance. 🙂

The ride to Stoke Mandeville left from Denham. On the way from Ealing to Denham the thought of packing it in crossed my mind quite a lot – it was well windy!!

The first person I introduced myself to.. turns out to be a first timer as well! It gets better though when she asks where I’m from.. “Melbourne” I say. “Me too” she says! Fark.. small worl.. etc. What sucks so much about Melbourne that makes us all leave?!? 🙂

I think her name was Linda – but I’d forget my own name if it wasn’t tattooed to my arm, so I could be wrong. She was a semi-pro tennis player who’s been here for 11 years and now coaches the racquet sport but prefers cycling to knocking balls back and forth. Good choice says I. She’s fit (grr.. jealous) and I’m sure she’ll be winning stuff very soon. Brian was the club chairman and a pretty good ad for the club in his own right. He was very friendly and welcoming. This bunch also has a ‘no drop’ policy unlike the faster Quest (shop team) bunch which makes it nicer for slackers like me who aren’t even sure they can climb out of bed these days let alone climb hills.

I think the bunch was 11 strong and we rode a fairly easy 60k to the Stoke Mandeville Goat Centre where we finally find our link to the introductory statement! The Aussies had coffee and a banana or oatmeal slice while the locals had tea and beans on toast (“aww bless”). I can’t say much about the ride because I have no idea where we went and I was concentrating, it being the first “bunch” I’ve done for 2 years. I know it involved the Chilterns and Ed from One More Cup of Coffee has mentioned this ride before. I recall chatting to Sas(?), another IT dude who also plays some football.

Leaving the cafe was interesting – I was only wearing summer kit and a CCW windvest, the wind was howling and 5min later it was snowing. Snow I tells ya! (Tough Aussie was mentioned but I know they’re thinking Stupid Aussie ;)). 5min later it was blue skies again and I’d warmed up so no stress! 🙂 The return journey was done with the pace up a notch. I approved of this. The expected tail-wind didn’t really eventuate until after I’d left the final rider, Mike, at Uxbridge and powered home to Ealing. I was feeling pretty happy with myself.

Thanks to the others on the ride – ’twas fun!

In other white powder news, I’ve started messing around with the local energy drinks. I prefer the taste of the cheaper Boots own-brand powder to the Lucozade stuff but I’ve not looked closely at what they each contain. Given the snow collected on my jumper after dumping the recycling tonight, hydration isn’t going to be a primary concern for a while yet..

Out:

Duration: 2h 46s

Distance: 60k

HR: 133/169 (avg/max)

Speed 23/54 (avg/max)

Ascent: 480m

Back:

Duration: 2h 05s

Distance: 56k

HR: 140/180 (avg/max)

Speed 29/56 (avg/max)

Ascent: 315m