hip: “Fscking open your fscking eyes you stupid fscking cnut!!”

cab: “You should have stopped for me”

hip: “You fscking idiot, I was riding straight along the road and you just did a u-turn into me!”

cab: “You lot are always hard to see”

*leans bike over to find (and show cabbie) bright white LED flasher is operating as expected*

hip: “What the fscking hell is this then you cnuting blind fsck bag?! It’s a fscking flashing light! I’m riding a fscking red bike and my cycling kit is bright fscking red and yellow you tossing fsck brained cnut!”

cab: “You should’ve fscking stopped for me”

hip: “Are you fscking fscked in the fscking head you dopey blind (noticing driver’s grey hair) old cnut?!?! You just turned your cab AT me!! Fscking fsck head!!”

I love adrenalin – It allows me to string even more swearing into sentences than usual.

This back and forth ranting carried on for at least a minute while myself and the black cab driver argued. Rewind: I’m riding west, along Old Marylebone Rd, approaching Edgware Rd around 19:30. It’s wet, it’s been a long day, my tyres are junk and I’ve TRASHED ANOTHER HEADSET.. so I’m taking it easy. Black cab approaching from the opposite direction and I, of course, give it no thought whatsoever – they’re everywhere. Maybe he indicated, maybe he didn’t but woosh.. cab is turning, aimed at me! Fsck! I swerve around the mad fsck and as usual I unleash at him. Usually, drivers in the wrong are apologetic (or scared) and sit quietly in their car until I’ve said my bit and we part ways. This d1ckhead retaliates.. and off we go!

Now I thought black cab drivers were all well-trained and stuff. This guy was totally in the wrong and then has the nerve to argue with me about it after nearly wiping me out. If he let it rest, perhaps I wouldn’t be writing this now.. but I have another card up my sleeve.. Pausing for breath I actually thought “rego!”, leaned over and noted his plate. Bingo! This knob jockey is getting his blind ass reported tomorrow. I’ve never reported any incident before (usually because I’ve missed their plates) but this one feels justified. So cabbie, you daft old prick, I get one last “fsck you!” in before we’re done.

In case I’m giving the wrong impression – London is generally pretty cool for riding in. Drivers usually look out for bikes and it’s typically the bikes that are breaking the rules, not the cars. This is a notable exception for me at least because I thought black cab drivers were better than this.

Traffic News: It looks like the road works on Bayswater Rd (that road above Hyde Park) are finished and traffic can move through their again, rather than using Craven.

Brain News: I have another MRI tomorrow arvo. This one is to detect just how much beer has leaked into other parts of the brain.

Bike News: I won a ticket to the Cycle Show thanks to Red Spokes

Today’s commute was more interesting than most. The End.

Joking aside..

Cruising in to Regent’s Park Outer Circle I was going to do some cool down laps. I found a bunch swapping turns so I joined on the back for a bit, but rather than ride with them I decided to let them go – it was only a cool down ride after all and they were going too fast for me to actually lose heat.

Another bloke asked if I was with them as I dropped off the back. “Nup”.

I sat on his wheel as he was going slower, but then he tows me back to the bunch! I thought I’d latch on to them for a bit longer even though they were moving faster than I’d have liked. But then tower goes past the bunch – with me on his wheel. Doh! Is he doing turns with them now? Is he passing them? This feels all foreign to me now..

Fsck it! I’m so used to riding alone and chasing down everything in sight I bust past the lot of them! Then, like the total knob I am, I turn off and ride the 50m left to work. I’m sure they were thinking “wanker” and I don’t blame them, I would be too.

Instead of riding and/or chatting with them and maybe finding a regular bunch to cut some laps with, I was a tool. Oh well – it’s not the first time. It wont be the last time. Sorry bunch people. *hopes they forget me*

I keep seeing On-One bikes that I want and then buying other things!

click the image above to view more Ribble

Sick of waiting, addicted to ebay and subconsciously sticking with English (ish) product, the ebay auction for the Ribble stated..

This Terry Dolan designed frame has been my number one workhorse for the past 18 months.

Details are:

* Frame: Ribble 7005 Alluminium Audax 56CM, metalic Royal Blue

* Fork: Carbon ITM Spider

* Seat Post: Carbon Bontrager X Lite

* Stem: Bontrager XXX Lite Alluminium

* Saddle: Brand New Bontrager

* Chainset: 53/39 Shimano Ultegra Hollowtech II

* Groupset: (brakes, shifters, mechs) Full Shimano Ultegra

* Bars: Bontrager oversize 42cm c-to-c

* Pedals: Shimano Ultegra

* Wheels: Mavic Cosmos (pictured off bike – but with Vittoria Rubino Pro’s and new tubes fitted – I will be keeping my 105 wheels for my other bike)

* Rear Cassette: Ultegra 12-27 9 Speed

* Chain: SRAM PC991

Other points:

* All cables sealed and fitted by Francis Thurmer (a great mechanic and hugely pedantic about sealed cables)

* New Campag Chorus headset fitted today.

* Can also include a pair of Salmon narrow mudguards covered in a highly effective blue reflective matterial

* A few stone chips, but generally good used condition. It has also two of the vinyl letters from the frame, just not bothered to replace them.

This is a quality roadbike with exceptional components, and a very comfy ride.

I am 5 foot 10 inches, with a stumpy inside leg of 30 inches, and the saddle is in my normal riding position. The reach is just right for me, and gives a very comfortable ride – finding no problems on 75-100 mile rides.

The Ribble website lacked a certain amount of marketing… how shall I say it… um… bullshit, yes definitely lacked bullshit, as you can see in the product blurb:

Horizontal Top Tube.

Raw frame weight (average size) 1650g.

High grade 7005 series aluminium. Audax/Winter version of our 7005 race model. Frame includes mudguard eyes.

Use 1 1/8 forks and hidden headset.

from: www.ribblecycles.co.uk

For pictures of the new machine, these are the ones from ebay. I will post some nicer ones when and if blue skies coincides with my free time:

thehippy.net – Ribble Gallery

Muchos gracias to (newly-wed awww..) Mirek for doing the driving to Staines where I parted with ?480 hard-earned squids to buy the blue beastie.

As a side note, if you look at Google Maps satellite image of Heathrow Airport now you can see a few parked Concorde planes. Ok, I’m easily impressed.

Congratulations, your black BMW is the first to be added to the European Edition of the Hippy Shit List!

With your inability to use some of the more basic features of your vehicle, namely indicators and rear-view mirrors, we at thehippy.net have decided that the removal of these unnecessary items from your vehicle should proceed as rapidly as possible.

Of course, should you decide that the above-mentioned items are beneficial to your driving, they will be returned to you.

Super-glue will not, however, be provided.

Should you wish to dispute your addition to this prestigious list, you are more than welcome to forward us your name and residential address, for “clarification”.