T447ACX – Red VW Polo. Is that enough information for defamation?

I should have let you call the police, woman. Not because you damaged my bike (it was minor damage). Not because you hit me with your car (it was minor bruising). No, I should have forgone my ride and let you call the police, in order that they may wipe the stupid, arrogant, holier-than-thou smile from your pathetic face.

As you don’t like swearing you should probably stop reading here – the following is likely to cause you offence.

I must apologise for dropping “fscking” into a sentence after you had just driven your car into me, I didn’t realise you were “not used to that sort of language”.

Guess what? I’m not fscking used to having cars driven into me!!!

You fscking pillock, YOU hit ME with your car and then have the nerve to complain about my choice of adjectives!!!

Fsck you!

I’m not sure which village you failed your license test in but for your information I was riding where I was supposed to be riding – as far left as I deemed to be safe. I had plenty of room and ’twas a lovely day. All you had to do was be patient or perhaps take your time and use your mirrors and then indicate before turning into me. It’s only the fact that I was travelling relatively slowly and managed some amount of evasive action that you are not awaiting a court appearance date for a more serious act.

You know, I would’ve let this go, if you’d just asked if I was alright, said sorry and moved on. But you didn’t did you? What was it? Daddy a lawyer? Mummy a hard b1tch? Used to sticking up for Captain Macho who sat in the car for our entire argument? Oh, thanks to the guy on the bike who saw everything but I waved off after I’d self-assessed.

I was on the _outside_ of the road you defective idiot. I could not pass you on the inside due to the presence of right-turning cars. Did you spend too much time driving in France over summer or did someone swap your brain hemispheres?

“Next time you should use your indicators when you turn” I said, to which you replied “Indicators don’t mean anything in this country”

Well, golly gee, I’ll remember that the next time I feel like breaking a law that leads to someone’s injury and/or damage of their property! Thanks!

“Use your rear-view mirror next time!” was another statement I recall throwing out, as you harped on with your odd inside/outside logic, obviously unable to move your brain out of 1st gear.

And how did you reply to that? You laughed at me, you waste of fscking oxygen! With your I’m-British-not-Australian-so-my-English-is-superior “Ha Ha that’s not a rear-view mirror, the one inside is!”. You forced me to explain the concept of “rear-view.. as in.. a mirror allowing a person to look behind.. before they run someone over”.

You, my dear, are a sphincter. I hope your child grows up to be a cyclist.

I continued on after the incident and had a great couple of hours riding around Richmond Park. As usual my injuries are almost invisible so I have no cool bruises to show. *sigh* The Ribble is christened.