Knitting on the circle line tube

Captain bandwagon jumper says: Here’s a “new” trend for yaz all. Now, knit your knicks! More here: www.castoff.info

I bought a suit. It was their fault, not mine.

Rather than looking for accomodation in Glasgow (other than sleeping at Prestwick Airport!) as I should be doing, I’m procrastinating. RA’s blog helped me waste some time tonight with this. Souvlaki and Sardines this may not be, but if I can just raise ?25k, I can buy the kebab shop for sale on Uxbridge Rd. No, I don’t know what I’m talking about either..

Rules:

1. Grab the nearest book.

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the text of the next 4 sentences

5. Don?t dare dig for that ?cool? or ?intellectual? book in your closet!

This quote comes from “Tour De France – The Complete Book of the World’s Greatest Cycle Race” by Margueritte Lazell which I kinda, sorta, accidentally-ish bought on ebay the other day and which happened to be sitting right next to my laptop.

Former winners Stephen Roche and Pedro Delgado were also ready for a crack at a second title, but it seemed no one could rise above the masses to earn the mark of pre-race favourite. Only the race itself could determine that. Lemond finished second in the prologue, giving him a 15-second advantage over Fignon before the real racing started. The Frenchman was not happy, and made a point of criticizing Lemond’s tactics to anyone who would listen.

A very large claw hammer into the sphincter of the person/persons/bots responsible for bringing down my site!

Much has been happening here, but of course I lack memories of most of it. Life is happening too fast for my brain to take notes!

With that in mind, a brief look to the future:

– Bank-holiday drunken havoc at Sarah’s place (For the record, Sarah has taken over the title of Earth’s Coolest Boss)

– Followed next day by crazed-group action (note hyphen location) at Get Loaded in the Park

– The same mental cases (the lads at least) are flying the weekend after to Riga in Latvia for Shaun’s Bucks Party

– A few days later, Mal and I jet off to Makow Podhalanski in Poland for a week to attend her brother’s wedding.

– Around Sep 22nd, Mal and I jump onto another plane, this time bound for Glasgow where we meet Sarah, Dan and Renae, head to Lanark and provide joy and merriment for Shaun and Kat’s knot tying event.

– In between all this I must still attend the “work” thang but at least commuting is being made shed loads cooler riding fixed. The new road-going Raleigh is a weapon! (Aimed at me, yeah, but a weapon nonetheless!). I’ve got some tweaks planned but the main thing I want to sort is drinking on the bike – where do I put my pint glass (or water) on a track bike?!?!

Well, let us hope this site stays up a little longer now (Viagra anyone?)

Just like Pound Sterling, that equates to about 60deg in Aussie degrees. 😉

There was an article in the paper tonight that stated something like: “Tube 47degC, Bus 52degC”. Not too sure how accurately they measured these (it was a headline, after all).

Gettin’ up early to avoid the heatwave-related Tube meltdowns. Yay for no bike.. *mumbles rude words under breath*. Condor bikes are looking better and better.. very “London”. 🙂

Update: What he said!

HSBC called me the other day to let me know that I was ?100 into overdraft. I didn’t even know what the guy was talking about until he explained what it meant.

“So my account balance is negative? Riiiight..”

I transfered money from my online-only account to rememdy the negative balance. Done, sweet, thanks mate. Bye.

Tonight I find a bank statement in the post that shows I’m to be charged a ?75 fee for going into overdraft! Seventy Five Fscking United Kingdom Pounds!!! That’s like $14,000,000AUD!!!

How the hell do these fools justify such a huge fee? Why don’t they just debit my other account, you know the one with money in it?! Why don’t they hit up my credit card? Why do they even have an overdraft “feature”, other than to sting you? I certainly never asked for overdraft – it must be a default option. This is the same idiot bank that couldn’t explain why my O2 bill payment was declined, cutting off my phone for a day.

“We don’t keep transaction records that far back, sir”

“You don’t keep records for transactions that occured three weeks ago?”

“No sir, sorry sir.”

You know what the fun part will be? Going to bed at 4am tonight after watching the late Tour coverage and then arguing with these idiots tomorrow. Because the fee hasn’t yet been taken out (thanks for the warning HSBC!), what’s stopping me withdrawing all my money and telling them to stick the ?75 fees up their ATM slots?!

On a happier note, the GT made it home. 2hr 12min it took to walk my bike the 12.5k home.

Leadup:

Total running since March – about 3 hours (not all at once), brain surgery, riding me bike!

Saturday’s Race Preparation:

Tour de France Prologue Live on ITV3. Thanks for the bloggy reminder cfsmtb!

England vs. Portugal match. Managed to limit myself to a single Tim Taylor Strong Pale Ale during the game.

Renae’s birthday party at Green & Red Mexican Restaurant and Tequila Bar, moving to nearby Tea Bar. Self-control disappeared (must’ve been the heat.. uh huh.. the heat..). A bunch of margaritas (strong and not the blended ice ones like back home), an odd tequila shot+champagne “slammer” thing, mmm bourbon, Mal’s vodka martini.. and I was still in better shape than Jobbo 😉 It got a little interesting here with bouncers, police, an unhappy Shaun and with the race in mind.. we bailed for the train. Of course, we missed the train and had to take the night bus. Met Mei-Ling on her way home!

It was 3am and we’d made it back to Ealing, now loaded with chips (“crisps” for the poms), powerade and icecream. With this kind of preparation.. how could I fail?!?! 😀

Sunday Race Day:

7am and I’m in for a bit of a shakey rise. Into the shower and out again for a coffee and piece of toast.

I taped my nipples up with Elastoplast but I think the tape fell off before I’d even started because I still ended up with some bad chaffing.

Desperate for a crap but the loo was occupied so I left. Ealing Broadway’s toilets were locked so jumped onto the next train. The toilets at Piccadilly maccas were out of paper (runners were hanging around here already, obviously with similar ideas).. Finally found the race portaloos (there must’ve been a hundred of ’em). Ahhh.. Lucky I made it too because the place was rammed after another 30min.

Dropped my bag off with the bird at the correct numbered bay, wandered a bit and pinned my number on (below the “Speedy” and snail image on my appropriate t-shirt). The place was filling up and I stood back to watch people shuffle towards the start (10min walk away). Chatted to a guy from Houston, Texas. I had shorts without any pockets and my watch had died, so I was carrying my phone around for timing. He spotted it and made some comment, showing off his Garmin wrist-mounted GPS. He then pointed out some skydivers and we noted the poor PA setup (surely they could afford more speaker stacks with 30,000 x ?29??). Also the silly route to the start which went by the toilets and caused a bit of a blockage (‘scuse the pun). Silly me put the Lucozade bottle in my bag and which meant for the next hour or so I had no fluids. Walking and waiting in the sun with a hangover wasn’t doing me any good..

So anyway, there were about a million people on Piccadilly (Okay, the commentator said 30,000). It was mental!! Never seens so many people.

I was in the middle of the pack when the start gun went (9.35am) and everyone cheered and started clapping runners as they ran towards us on the other side of the road.

Watching runners go past in the opposite direction on Piccadilly, I waited.. and waited.. and walked.. and waited.. At some point I turned around to look behind me and found that I was at the back of the field!!! WTF?! How did everyone get by? We’re not even running yet and there was still tonnes of people waiting to go over the start line. I started shuffling forward and finally went around the U-turn and started my warmup jog over the start line (10.05am).

I was passing lots of people and getting stuck behind big groups. There was definately no clear path guarantee. Even before 1k was done, people were walking.

At the 2k mark (I guess) I saw a water stop and grabbed a Lucozade. They’re crap and I should’ve got water but it’s what the guy was holding out and I badly needed a drink (other than tequila). I was in quite a good mood now, pootling along, smiling at the guys in dog suits, horse suits, bear suits, princess costumes or nodding to the people cheering us on. It wasn’t “really” a race.. 🙂

I think I hit 4k at 23min which is about 6min slower than what I’d done 4k in during a BRW tri. BFW (that’s a TISM reference for Carl). It was damn hot! Every time we went under a bridge or under buildings you could hear the crowd of runners sigh with relief at a little shade. When we’d come out the other side it was a large scale groan as we were punished again. I was running with phone in one hand and bottle in the other and hugged the curb in order to use the most tree shade I could find. It was always possible with the amount of dodging necessary. You wouldn’t use this race to set any PBs unless you were at the front from the gun.

Somewhere around here we ran past a steel drum band and they were playing YMCA so, of course, I had to do the dance as I ran past. I wasn’t the only one. Loads of people at this stage were looking pretty wrecked and walking. There was also an enormous amount of empty water bottles lying in the gutters and skittering across the road as people dropped and kicked them.

Over the bridge I got my hopes up seeing one of those big, blue, air-filled start/finish “bridges”. It even said 10K on it! Unfortunately, people were doing a u-turn and continuing the run which meant it obviously wasn’t the finish.. damn! I was struggling now. The dehydration and 30+ heat were doing their best to shut me down.. I was getting cold flushes which is odd when it feels like your feet are on fire in your shoes..

8K mark.. I was still passing lots of people and actually upped the pace a bit here – probably mostly a case of wanting to get it over and done with than anything else!

9K mark.. the MC was hyping the crowd up to support the runners. There were tonnes of people lining the roads here. When you have 30K runners, you are bound to have some famiy members or friends watching. They did their bit, a few yelling out “Go Speedy” and I’d acknowledge them with a wave or smile. Then back to the grimmacing.

10K mark.. Finish line in sight! I’d grabbed a bottle of water and tipped it over my baked head. The finish line wasn’t one of those blue things after all. There were ambulances trying to get through the crowds, MCs hyping people up, cheering and clapping, people directing runners. I crossed and check my phone – 11.05. 60min on the dot. I was pretty please considering my prep and, well, it has to be said, previous loathing for running. Besides I’ve peppered this with loads of excuses already, do you really want more? 🙂

After the line, all I wanted was shade. There was one tree. London (at least this bit) is not built for sun – there are no verandahs, no masses of trees, no aircons..

There was a guy collapsed in a corner being attended to by paramedics. I walked on, desperate for shade and water. I wondered if my heart might actually stop working? I found a tiny corner behind a pillar and sat down in a pool of my own sweat and the water I was pouring on myself. I’d arranged to meet Mal in Trafalgar Square but I called her now and said I was opposite 55 Whitehall, dying and might not be there soon.

Eventually, I figured my dead legs would start to cramp if I didn’t walk so I headed off. Turns out I was only a couple of hundred metres from Traf. Sq. anyway. Mal spotted me and asked if I wanted a drink.. Um.. let me think about that.. YEESS, PLEASE!!!! We headed back to the portaloo/bag area. My legs were trashed and it felt odd to walk. I kept bumping into people as I rocked side-to-side. It’s now three days later and it still feels odd walking down stairs. We picked up my stuff and the finishers pack, which included a medal.. awww! 🙂

Sat outside EAT. and drank iced coffee watching the hordes disperse. Eventually got onto a train and headed home. Spoke to Sara after the race (she’s the girl I worked with at Peregrine who I entered this race with). She’d run with a friend for an Alzheimers-related charity and they’d come in a 1h30m and sounded glad that it was over. She later told me two people had died during the race :S That might have been the marathon though? She also said something about me beating her because I was Aussie and used to the heat. Well to that I’d have to say that England has changed me. It was crazy hot out there. Maybe it was the running rather than cycling or maybe it was the amount of concrete or the direct contact with the tarmac? Whatever.. have I said it enough? It was HOT!

Spent the rest of the day on the couch with Mal, only moving to get more water and only leaving once to get pizza and Subway (yes, both!).

I’m just getting over the dehydration today..

On Monday I found out that Ian (guy from work) had done the 10k in 40:44. This was not only a great time, it meant that I’d guessed his finish time right in the charity draw he was running and so I was the winner of two tickets to see The Comedy Store Players at Shakespeares Globe. Sweet! Everyone’s a winner baby that’s no lie! 😀

In Other News:

Set a new PB commute record for the work-to-home trip. Finally went sub-30 chasing down a roadie.

This morning had an argument with some fsckstick in a Porsche Cayenne. He cut me off, indicating ‘as’ he turned the corner. I avoided him and he did see me though, because he stopped before I hit his stupid car and beeped at me. I told him what I thought of his driving. I’d gone around him and he came after me. I stopped up the road turned around again and flipped him off. He said something about killing me as I delivered a not-so-subtle barrage of abuse. He took off, not turning after all. He was probably worried I was going to insert my $300 bike into his ?3000 paint job.

I’d had a nice night last night though so I was totally chilled about 50m up the road. Stolly is visiting for a couple of days after flying from the States. He’ll be heading off on a Contiki soon and then Thailand, Singapore and back to Melbourne. A bunch of us had dinner and brews in Walpole park.. at least until some wino decide to join our party. “Spewy” Sheila must’ve had one too many though as she called in sick today.. slacker!

How much more exciting is Le Tour without Lance Domination and with a nice big drug scandal knocking a stack of the top names!?!?! Schweet!!

That’s enough feckin’ typing for now. I spanked a (cuttin’ off tosser of a) roadie on the way home (not THAT kind of spanking!) and my eyes are hanging out of my head.. did I mention the heat yet?

was a fscking fantastic game! I will endure the hideous hangover and loss of voice tomorrow for the memory of our victory and the *cough* Walkabout atmosphere that went along with it.

I hope also that our young Swedish friend scores the job she is going for tomorrow. Aussie Aussie Aussie!!! Oi! Oi! Oi!

Now can I go sleepies?

With around two weeks to go until the London 10k, I figure I should start “training”. Two weeks should be enough to beat Haile Gebreselassie’s 28:12, right?

Pah! I was all excited about racing it before being chopped up but now just jogging around and maybe not walking all the way will be satisfactory.

I managed a very slow 30mins of running after my commute home tonight. I managed to get lost, running random streets, but made it home eventually.

On that note, here’s something for the foot fetishists amongst you:

blog.wired.com – no more funky footwear?

We’ll beat Brazil next time..

Australia vs. Japan: 3-1

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