Monthly Archives: November 2004

Why isn't arsehole-killing legal?

Posted on by

Some arsehole in the back of a white shitbox (plates noted for later use 😉 ) driving down Burke Rd. thought it’d be fun to scream shit into my ear. Normally traffic is moving quickly by, but this guy was close and not going so fast so I copped the full brunt. I was probably in another world too. Suffice to say shit4brains scared the crap out of me. Adrenalin flowing I chased the car. The pathetic piece of shit wouldn’t wind his window down so I could tear off his fucking head – and I think I could’ve ripped it straight off his shoulders with the mood I was in..

All I could do was unload a bunch of language at his window. I thought about smashing the window, but it was a rear passenger and I had enough sense not to, 1) criminal damage charges and 2) it wasn’t the driver and probable owner of the car who yelled.

On a happier note, or is that a stranger note? someone appeared to take a photo of me as they drove by last night…

Maybe they are going to submit it to the Guinness Book for ‘World’s Biggest Arse’ category?

That’s someone filming and someone photographing cyclists (me) in the same week!? WTF is with that??

Good deed for the day

Posted on by

Riding north along Burke Rd, just about to hit Cantebury Rd. and I notice an old guy in front of the shops.

Out of the corner of my eye he seems to take a ‘Ministry of Silly Walks’ step and then jerks back the other way and topples over! “Shit! This geezer’s just had a heart attack!” I think to myself.

I jump off the Pug and hobble back along the footpath (selfishly cringing as I think of the brand-spanking-new carbon soles on my road shoes getting scratched).

Someone else had also seen the incident and was already there helping the old man to his feet. “Phew! at least it wasn’t a fatal heart attack!”.

The old guy is looking dazed and confused (kinda like I do most days, but in a worse way). We talked to him for a while trying to find out where he lived, if he was okay to get home, etc. We were encouraging him to go to the nearby pharmacy and sit down but he didn’t seem to want to do that.

I stood with the old man while the other guy went to the pharmacy and chatted to the staff. While he was doing that I encouraged old dude to walk down towards them. He seemed to be getting better but had banged up his shoulder and was bleeding from a cut hand.

The other guy rendering assistance said he had a car. I stood with the old man (who said he was 80) until he returned with a Volvo. We got the poor guy into the car and Volvo man said he would drive him home or call the cops/ambo should the need arise.

I left the scene thinking “job well done”, until I had flashes of tomorrow’s headlines “Camberwell pensioner-slasher steals Volvo to round up victims”. Hopefully that’s just my paranoia and general distrust of society kicking in..

Also saw a smashed up, black, late-model WRX with what looked to be the mid-life-crisis driver standing nearby with the cops. Oops!

A young dude ‘barked’ at me out of a cab-minibus window and it made me think of nasty things to say, mainly about his mum and her source of income.. until I saw the cab again and waved at it. The dude waved back and I laughed, deciding not to utilise the cutting insults..

I often go mental on rainy rides…