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Have fun you crazy kids.. but don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! (that means leave the 4.1kg of weed at HOME Russ! :P)

Apparently, my body can’t operate on a 24 hour schedule.. I WANT A REFUND!

Now I am wrecked. I can’t keep doing this.. I’m getting less and less sleep. My brain and body is so fscking tired!

It gets dark here at around 9:30pm. I thought that was funny – even later than back home – but then, it was light at 4:30am! WTF?!?!

Not helping matters were the vast number of loud-ass bastard planes flying over all night!

You don’t notice them inside, but outside.. HEY! LISTEN TO ME! Camping out was much quieter in Mildura!!

So tired.. need much coffee.. but everything worked fine. The tent (once I worked out it doesn’t need ropes) stayed up, the Therm-a-rest kept me off the ground and the sleeping bag did a fine job of keeping me warm. Could’ve slept with out it – almost. Only thing was that I forgot to put in the bag’s silk liner – I’ll do that before next use.

Now.. COFFEE!!!

Carrots here look HORRIBLE! Dirty, off-coloured, twisted, deformed yucky things..

Onions here are MASSIVE! I’m assuming the ones I saw weren’t specially bred super-onions..

You can buy 3L cider in the stupormarket for ?2 (and I just found the ? key on Grant’s silly keyboard!)

Bread is around the same price as in Oz, even with the ?->$ conversion.. can you say YAY!? 🙂

I just watched Arsenal beat Manchester United in the FA Cup Final? in a penalty shootout. I have adopted Arsenal as ‘my team’ should anyone ask.

I’m not sure if I have enough brain cells left to sample the vast numbers of different brews here. Brain cells or money to be precise.

Tube Etiquette, with some funny anecdotes to illustrate.

Recapping the comedy night..

I met Grant near his work, near Tower Bridge. We went to a nearby pub – The Duke of Somerset, I think. Had some pints. Before I had a chance to ask what the hell all that smoke was, someone mentions the free BBQ. “Free BBQ?!”. Apparently, through summer, this pub has a free all you can eat bbq on Thursday nights. They can afford to do this because no one wants to eat more than one of their burgers!! (Okay.. I would’ve gone back for more but they close up pretty quick.. most sane people fear stomach pumps too much anyway..).

A few more pints and then I’m too pissed to notice where we are actually heading. We end up in some place (Old Street – I checked the flyer) looking for a bright yellow building, the Comedy Cafe. Wayne the birthday boy, who works with Grant, and I needed a piss badly, so the group waited while we ran into some random pub and headed for the loos: “Ahhhh…”

At the cafe we are warned to turn off mobiles (I think, I was still outside) and are seated next to the stage. I was later shielded from direct comedic attack by two young women which was almost disappointing. I’m sure I would’ve infuriated the speedy MC Martin Davis with my stupid-slow replies. 🙂

The MC and the three acts are really good. I would love to be able to repeat their jokes but as is always the case with me, I leave live comedy gigs recalling only faces, never any gags :S

The meal was good (another burger for this tightarse, thanks!) and the beer plentiful. Luckily there was an American on another table who copped most of the bagging and an old dude who was quite funny even though he didn’t mean it..

“When was the last time you had sex?”

“Well, my memory fails me” (you had to be there :P)

Stumbled back home and into the very familiar stupor.. or was that after a call to Oz? I forget now. Kill those brain cells hippy! Kill ’em all! (yes that was a Metallica reference). Is SOADs new album out yet or what?!

Called Jetta and quoted the Airwaybill number and found out the bike should be on a 7:15am flight tomorrow (20th May). I also discovered that it’s not just a simple matter of picking it up. No, I had to call “Heathrow Handling” and the have the (nice) guy explain that I should give them a call at 8.30am on the 20th to confirm that it has arrived. If it has arrived (sometimes they push items back to the evening flight) I need to head in on the train and get off at Hattan Cross, then catch the H23 courtesy bus to the Cargo terminal. There’s no train right to the terminal I need. If the bus driver tries to let me off at British Airways I’m to tell him to keep going to the Cargo terminal. Apparently there’s an annoying round-a-bout they don’t like doing so they try and drop people off at the BA terminal which is 2 miles away from Cargo!

Okay, so, no bike today. It’s okay, I can take it.. (twitches) really, I’m alright (squeals gibberish), I’m cool.. it’s all good..

I’m going to go play in the rain until it’s time to go to this comedy club tonight.. maybe a pub would have me for lunch and a pint or five? Mmm.. beer here is good, no fear!

HSBC actually..

Yesterday I visited 1st Contact to finalise the details of my UK bank account with HSBC. Back home I’d paid $75 to 1st Contact to start the ball rolling. Yesterday, we filled out a bunch of details and listened to the 1st Contact staffer Sheila (not our Sheila, but Sheila!) talk about all the other things they do. NI numbers, temporary NI numbers, health insurance, tax returns, Limited Companies, blah, blah, blah.. on and on it went.. all the time I was thinking two things: 1) Damn I need a coffee! and 2) Let me the hell out of here so I can get to a phone!!!

After all that was sorted out (the bank account.. the call was a write-off.. sorry Tam) I had lunch in a nearby park. Oh, I was in Victoria, by the way, well hopped off at Victoria train station, not sure if the suburb is called Victoria? I hit Sainsbury’s up for some pre-packed Indian sandwiches (not bad), some iced coffee (appalling by Aussie standards!) and a choc muffin (nice).

Went home and did some cleaning and nerd stuff. I wasn’t in an explore mood.

Pizza for dinner (Aussie pizza is better, Italian pizza is better still) followed by a Mars bar icecream (YUM!!) consumed after a very long time spent in a Budgeons (like a 7-11) with Grant examining in minute detail all the beers and ciders! hehehe

Finally received the call I had been waiting for (did I mention Mars icecream is awesome? 😛 hehehe). $30 AUD gets (and I was counting) 84mins. I tried my (5 quid not 10 quid!) New Swifty phonecard with the local access number and it said I had 642 minutes call time!!! I will believe it when I tally it up!

This was after struggling to connect. I tried a few combos with no success. I ended up calling VirginMobile’s really cool ”789” helpline. You pay 10p and the operator answers any questions about the phone system. I asked how to dial Australian numbers and he said the ”+” in ”+61” is represented on a landline phone by ”00”. So, when I stopped dialing 0011 and just 00 in front of the number, it all worked! Yay! (27min and counting New Swifty..)

Got up and walked to the station with Grant, Sheila and Mei-Ling. Grant accidently bumped into some chick who had stopped in front of him on the footpath. Before we even know what’s happening, this psycho bitch has whirled around and (I thought) punched Grant in the head. Apparently she only ‘pushed’ him. She’s swearing her head off at him like he was stealing her children or something.. “fscking little crunt this and that”. We just keep walking while the psychotic bitch rants into the morning air. Sheila hears of the tale and wants blood.. I’m still not awake. We make it to the station alive. 🙂

Leaving the others at the station, I partake in a Belgium waffle with whipped cream and a Budgeons(?) cappucino. Budgeons(?) is like 7-11 and the coffee was what you’d expect from a 7-11 machine – pretty poor – but caffeine is caffeine! The waffle was very nice though.. mmm.. but triple the cost for AUD and you have a $12 breakfast!!!!! OMG!!! Fscking pound conversion!!!

Bought some stuff, like the London A-Z street directory, toiletries and food and headed home. Surfed ‘net for a while, trying to find Oxford trip info.

Booked in to get my UK bank account sorted. Picked a random station to go to again – Tower Gate. The train seemed quite slow getting there. I can’t remember what line it was on but i think it makes a difference because some lines are more rickety than others.

Walked around Tower Gate area, taking a couple of shots of the Tower of London, the Tower Bridge, London Bridge and some of the funky buildings around the area. It was much nicer this time – last year, on the same walk, it was raining constantly.

Went into On Yer Bike bike shop. Very cool. Lots of funky machines and lots of funky jerseys! I want the Heinz Baked Beans jersey and the awesome Skull and Bones one.. I think they were about 50 quid each, so they will have to wait until I’m earning pounds. This shop was two stories of cool gear.. me likey!

For lunch I sat on down in the sun and ate a traditional cornish pasty (that’s what the cornish pasty van said anyway). Sat there, on the corner of London Bridge, for quite a while watching all the couriers fly by.. “Hmm, I could do that..” hahahaha 🙂

The went into Evans bike store which was right behind me and got chatting with a cool South African dude about the lack of size 14 SPD shoes hehe.. then he showed me the chopper he wanted to buy and we had a big discussion about getting 3″ flame tyres in SA! hehe He was working at the hostel bar just up the road (until he left and got the bike shop gig). I helped him out by making his last 30mins pass quickly and he helped me out by giving me plenty of tips for pouring beers and getting jobs in pubs and stuff.. very cool guy! (Him, not me! :P)

Spent the rest of the arvo wandering around this part of town taking photos of courier rigs and funky buildings.

Back at Ealing, I was invited to head up the road to the Red Lion pub for some brews with friends of Adrian(? shit forgotten his name!) who had recently returned from Morocco (I think). Grant came along too, making us a powerful drunken force of Grant, Adrian, Claire, Sam, Marcus and hippy. We certainly scared a few of the locals with our shenanigans that night! (We were sitting outside the pub, freezing our arses off, drinking beer in the hope we’d not notice the cold :P)

“Micro penises – genetic problem or caused by pigs attacking male genitals in Chinese toilets?” (Yes, it IS best not to ask..)

Using a method of travel pioneered by one of my cousins (Lisa, Kathy, Tess? I can’t remember who it was.. but I remember the story..) I closed my eyes and pointed to a random location on the train map I have. I landed on Baron’s Court station. Cool, off I set for Baron’s Court. It happened to be on the same line I catch so there was no change required.

I don’t have any maps and I’m not reading any travel guides, just training, busing and walking around looking at stuff..

Baron’s Court was pretty boring, save for the large courtroom building? that looked like a giant cruise liner sticking up out of the ground!

I think I walked through Hammersmith. Stopped at “Richmond Cycles” for a look. Small shop with some Gary Fisher mtbs and Trek roadies and mtbs and stuff, nothing of interest to me, really.

Saw the “Robin Hood” restaurant and giggled (I used to do archery).

Visited Ravenscourt Park which highlighted what Leo said to me the other day: “The English know how to do parks!” There was a massive grass area, trees, chairs, etc. like a Melbourne park, but keep walking and you get to a small “lake” full of ducks and other birdlife. Further along, there’s a skate ramp, play areas for little tackers and multiple asphalt basketball courts!! This place rocks! Back home all that stuff would be removed as soon as some spoilt yuppiespawn broke his arm playing bball..

Walked out of the park (I have no idea where I am mind you) and onto another street. Some guys in a van pull up and the passenger says “this might sounds weird buddy, but do you wanna buy some speakers?”

I laughed out loud at him because we have the same scam back home! I told him I was a tourist and he should try his luck elsewhere. The guys from Open Windows should remember this scam.. 🙂

The bus appeared to be heading for Notting Hill Gate and I got off when it looked like interesting walking. I found myself walking through Kennsington Gardens. Sat down for a bit here and watched the other tourists watching the birds by the lake. Deck chairs were scattered around the place but today wasn’t near as nice as yesterday so no one was using them.

On the way out of the Gardens I spotted the Goat Tavern. I had to go there for lunch and a brew, simply because of my fondness for the Goat ales back home. I wanted to compare Goats 🙂

Ordering bangers and mash and a pint of Bombardier(?) I found the bartender was an Aussie. Of course we got talking.. his name was Nathan and he was from Byron Bay. He was heading home in December after a year out of a Business degree. He poured me a freebie pint of the xx? Greene IPA they had. More chatter and another free pint later (I wasn’t hanging around for the beer I was just looking for info, honestly!) and his mate Anthony walked in. He worked around the corner in the Old Swan. He was out taking photos. Another Canon DSLR user (insert secret handshake). All three of us went around the corner so Anthony could cash in some pub freebie docket he had.. so more pints for us..

They were planning to go out drunken bowling. I had to take the camera and stuff back home and left it a bit late, so even though I was trying to make it back to the Goat by 8pm, I didn’t even get back to Ealing by 8. Fuggit! Sorry guys! I’ll visit again.. maybe to take that job on offer.. 🙂

More beers with Grant, Sheila, Leo and Mei-Ling left me with a nice headache to nurse.. bed time.

All the stories about London’s bad weather have so far proven to be rubbish. Today was a beaut blue sky affair! It was nicer here than what it was like when I left Melbourne! The hangover meant I missed most of the morning but the afternoon was great! Got myself a mobile SIM so my phone works in the UK now. Spent the rest of the day outside Terry’s place on the grass eating pasta salad and drinking Italian beer.. tough life eh? 😛

I dunno what was going on exactly, but there were vans and vans of coppers and what appeared to be lots of people in red and red/blue soccer (sorry, I mean “football”) colours. I assume a game was on somewhere nearby??

25 quid for a weekly railpass is good, well, not when you buy it with Aussie pesos and it costs more than a monthly MET ticket, but good in that you get two days free travel and it can be used on all buses because it is a Zone 1,2,3 ticket.

It took about 1:45 to get from Terry’s to Grant’s using bus and two train lines.. I’m kinda doing alright on the trains so far.. finding Grant’s place once getting off the train was a little bit more problematic though.. One day I might try navigating this place sober and see what happens.. a map would help too..

No photos yet. I really wanted a shot of the blue sky today (and the cruise liner right outside Tezz’s!!) but I’ve been travelling light so far.

It’s Sunday lunchtime. I’ve just woken up at Tezz’s place. Grant, Tezz and I went to the Maple Leaf in Covent Garden last night. Don’t ask me why we went to a Canadian pub..?

We proceeded to get stuck into the pints. Kronenburg, some-dudes-name beer, some honey canadian beer. Some Canadians asked us if we were staying for the game. Game? What game?! Turns out Canada was playing Russia in the World Ice Hockey finals live tonight (Bigscreen and live Tee! Jealous? hehehe). We watched as the bar filled up prior to “the game”. Chris, a Canadian joined our table and acted as our ‘Canadian Guide’ for the night!:)

Russia played dirty and got flogged by Canada. The final is on tonight between ‘da and Sweden I think.

After the game we headed to the Bok bar, a South African bar, nearby. Oh, we had been joined by Genna-Leigh (Tezz’s girl) and we were still weaering our “hockey helmets’ that they’d given out in the Maple Leaf! We were hammered!

In here we drank more pints and talked more shite.. we met Liam Gallagher (hehe) and his younger brother who didn’t have the long hair and wouldn’t pick up the chick in the orange no matter how much we embarassed him into trying! hehehe

Still with our Canadian helmets on we wandered around looking for food. I don’t eat Maccas so that threw Tezz and Genna-L. Grant had bailed from the Maple Leaf to meet Sheila for dinner. I remember going into Pizza Hut but there was going to be a 20min wait. We ended up in DACCA Tandoori. Very nice food even if I was falling asleep at the table. 45 quid for the three of us though.. eek! My funds are gonna run out before I get to mainland Europe!

Still causing havoc, we headed back to Tezz/Genna-L’s on the train.. I think? I dunno.. I do remember getting into the car at some stage which was filled with broken glass from being broken into the other day. Tezz’s car stereo go nicked.. bastards!

I slept on the couch. Very nice place here. Very posh fittings and stuff.. so much for all the stories about people slumming it in England! 😛

Very nice day today.. blue skies!! Gonna head out and get a SIM for the phone I think, if the nearby Carphone Warehouse is open. It’ll only take another couple of hours for this hangover to go away.. meanwhile Tezz and Genna-Leigh are watching some shite soapie Holly Oaks.. 😛