Monthly Archives: December 2005

Mum, I want a bike for Christmas

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Little Johnny came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.

Christmas was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. “Mum, I want a bike for Christmas”.

Little Johnny was a bit of a troublemaker. He had got into trouble at school and at home. Johnny’s mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for Christmas. Little Johnny, of course, thought he did. Johnny’s mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him to reflect on his behaviour over the last year, write a letter to God, and tell him why he deserved a bike for Christmas.

Little Johnny stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

Dear God,

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for Christmas. I want a red one.

Your friend, Johnny.

Johnny knew this wasn’t true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

Dear God,

This is your friend Johnny. I have been a pretty good boy this year and I would like a red bike for Christmas.

Thank you, Johnny.

Johnny knew this wasn’t true either. He tore up the letter and started again.

Dear God,

I have been an OK boy this year and I would really like a red bike for Christmas.

Your friend, Johnny.

Johnny knew he could not send this letter to God either. Johnny was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mother he wanted to go to church. Johnny’s mother thought her plan had worked because Johnny looked very sad. “Just be home in time for dinner,” his mother said.

Johnny walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. He picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary, slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into his house and up to his room. He shut the door and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Johnny began to write his letter to God:

I’VE GOT YOUR MUM. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE F***ING BIKE.

Signed: YOU KNOW WHO.

Moral of the story: If someone asks you for a bike, give them one, before they end up in prison. 😉

The Beer Shop

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Followed Dan to The Beer Shop: www.pitfieldbeershop.co.uk on the weekend. It’s marked for pillaging A S A P! I haven’t totally given up on life guys, relax.. 🙂

They have lots of xmas brews in stock and *drool* a nice range of Belgian trappist beers. Quite a few English brews as well.

Exercise rocks, don't it? (2 x EARL)

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Don’t answer that Mr & Mrs Sedentary. I will.

It does. Get out there and move!

I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it.

I like to move it, move it. I like to.. MOVE IT!

(NB: Watch Madagascar)

This blog is turning from a bike blog to a r_n blog with dollops of techno and self-pitying introspection. For the love of god people, find me a road bike and some suitable racing! 😉

I was totally stuffed at work but picked up as soon as I’d left, thinking about hitting Prague at the end of the week and more immediately the prospect of doing a double EARL (EAling Run Loop).

As soon as I arrived home, I was out of the corp-wear (my arch enemy) and into some shorts and t-shirt. I put the arm warmers on because it was frickin’ COLD! (Checked the temp on my return and it turned out to be 2degC!).

Nothing much to report about the first loop. Half-way into it I had a stitch. 3/4’s of the way around, on Gunnersbury Ave, I ran past a sign: “Fatal Incident – Wed 14th Dec, 4:30am”. Oh, um, nice. Someone died here, um, well, that’s a little unpleasant, but what can you do?

Something moved in the grass to my left. The victim? Err.. No. Some little mice or mice-looking critters were running through the grass away from me. I don’t blame them – I’d run away from me too. I felt pretty dodgy and was weighing up: stopping after one lap, running a little extra to make 1hr or doing the double. In the end I ran straight past home without the water stop of last time.

Time: 39:45. Not bad for me and the fact was: I felt like continuing.

Passing Northfields Tube Station, I hit a pretty cool sight. Along Pope’s Lane, the street lights glowed in a yellow line into the distance. The moon was huge and hung very low in the sky, shrouded in the same yellow fog as the street lights. It appeared as if the moon was commanding its street light “troops” from a throne above. I’ve seen some fantastic moon scenes in Oz but this one was new to me. It would’ve made a great photo.

Half way around, a bunch of Christmas-people appeared, including a Santa who was waving to the kids in cars. Awww… can I get a “Yay for Christmas!” from everybody?

I would like to suggest an alternative to Tam’s “race face”, mentioned here. My “run face” is a similar grimmace, but has nothing to do with oxygen-debt, knee-pain, cramping or any of that other stuff running inflicts. No, my “run face” is the grimmace associated with someone clenching their butt hard, trying not to sh1t their own pants! Arrrgh! I was fine on the first lap, but every five minutes on the second lap I was reminded that if I didn’t make it home VERY soon I would be carrying some luggage home in my undies. This sh1t (‘scuse the pun) never happened to me on the bike! (You know you’ve made it when your blog posts are about turds). Anyway, with my sphincter scrunched as firmly as my grimmacing face, I made it home, ripped off the shoes, ran up the stairs and.. ahhhhhhhh… MUCH better! 😀

Total time for the LOUD (Loop Of Unrevealed Distance :P) was 1:20:41.

That’s about 6 minutes faster than the last time I ran the double AND I was in MUCH better shape at the end. I was doing it easy (for me). I was hardly sweating (could’ve been the 2degC temp!) and my legs weren’t in anywhere near as much pain.

Afterwards, I made this:

hippy's vegie stir-fry

Yes Tee, all by myself 😛 It was edible and all! 😉

Moodlog: Sad

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No wonder, listening to this depressing stuff. Pity it’s such a cool track..

Markus Schulz feat. Departure – Without You Near

It’s a little bit lonely down here

It’s a little bit faint without you near

Without you near

Is it wise to say

While the other’s waiting

She’s contemplating you

Another passes by the door

Any other day

You just look around and

All you see is gone

All you see is gone

How can you sit there watching

Someone else?

How can you sit there

sit there watching

Faint without you near

Lonely down here

Listen