Any other women wanting to show me their breasts… please form an orderly line. No squabbling!

By “other” I mean to say that tonight a young woman thought I might need to see her chest. I couldn’t agree more!

Riding along Glenferrie Rd on the GT SS, a small bus goes past full of (older) school girls. One spots me and, while I’m looking at the bus, rips up her top to give me an eye full!

I cracked up, waved, cracked up some more and then did what any other red blooded male would do… I chased the bus! Catching it under the SE freeway, I rolled by, thanked the girls and spun around for a rather lonely session on the ‘drome.

I guess all the normal ‘drome users are fairweather riders, probably all sitting in front of their open fires, sipping lattes… I mean, come on! Instead of 10 people, there was a singlespeeder and a female roadie. Where did all the heroes go? A few commuters went past but there wasn’t a single over-geared, bobbing, Cannondale riding, triathlete! Just because it was a little cold and wet (okay, quite cold and damn wet!).

Oh, I need to point out that this was the first time in a long time that I’ve ridden the singlespeed. Obviously the ‘God of One’ decided I should be rewarded for my return to the realm of ss and presented the ‘prize of the flesh’ as encouragement! I hate to think what I’ve missed with all the roadie kays I’ve been doing!

Say “hi!” to the Electric Moon Bananas:

electric moon bananas

Herald Sun: Cheats faking a whiz [26oct04]

“It consists of a plug that is inserted in the rectum, a small reservoir for “clean” urine, and a tube that is attached to the underside of the penis.”

“Hungarian hammer thrower Adrian Annus** and discus thrower Robert Fazekas were stripped of their Olympic titles from Athens over doping offences.”

“Some of the other devices are rather more lurid, including the Whizzinator, which is available on the Internet for $200.

It consists of a fake penis mounted on an athletic support. At the press of a concealed trigger, it will deliver a stream of “clean” urine pre-stored in a small reservoir.”

** Oh PLEASE!

The Miami Herald

(you will have to register to read it, but the subject gives an idea)

“Huffy, which makes about a third of the bicycles sold in the United States, filed for Chapter 11 on Wednesday, citing losses largely from a Canadian sports equipment company.”

“Huffy lost $7.5 million in 2003 after losing $1.4 million in 2002. It has yet to file quarterly financial reports for 2004 and has not said why.”

Seems like they did a Cannondale with their bike division making money but the other crap they got into failed.

Steaming Cyclists Sue ‘Bike Thief’ Cops

I saw a funny incident this morning at the gym. This dude riding a cheap mtb. Obviously a newb (or drunk hehe), he’s riding around the carpark and takes an easy, slow corner.. but he doesn’t turn! Doesn’t lean, nothing..

So, by now he’s overcooked it and ‘slowly’ runs into a tree. He hit it at a shallow enough angle to scrape along and continue.. He was smiling and so were the 5 people that watched him. I don’t think the SAAB/Beemer(?) owner who’s car was parked right next to the tree would have been..

If comparing your own Average Speed with that of riders in the pro ranks.. remember.. they don’t see any stop lights!

I never owned a proper freewheel remover (those little grooved things you insert into the freewheel and fit a spanner to) ‘back in the day’ so I’d have to use a funky pair of needle nose pliers to fit into the little Ultraglide dimples and unscrew the lock ring. Along with removing the freewheel, this would free up 4.5billion* small ball bearings most of which would inevitably end up in one of the many small piles of sawdust and cobwebs in Dad’s shed.. ahh memories…

*may not be accurate estimate

That’s bike messengers, not MSN Messenger!

Ride To Work Day..

I caught the train.

“What?!”, I can hear you thinking, “A cycle nut like you caught the train on RTWD?!”

Yes. I was trying to get ‘The Tank’ ready for bike polo last night and ran out of time to ride in. I didn’t even have time to scam free food! Horror of horrors!

I guess I did ride to and from the stations – does that count?

Bike polo was fun. I wasn’t going to play because I only had the overgeared GT SS, no mallet of my own and I was clipped in. It turns out Dave S had a spare mallet and I only came close to toppling over a couple of times (it was on grass – nothing to worry about). The game was played near Melbourne Storm’s training ground on the corner of Punt and Swan. There was 6 of us and we played a few rounds in the space of an hour or so. I think most of the guys went to the Corner for beer but I had someone cooking dinner for me so I couldn’t pass that up. After dinner I rode home so I guess for me it was Ride From Work Day…